why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
