We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
