Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
