Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
