Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
