Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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