Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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