When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How's work?
Spinning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
