so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
