No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize