:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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