I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
