i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
