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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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