Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
