So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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