whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you win again, gameday.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
