I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize