There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
