I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
