Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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