I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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