The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
