she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
