By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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