i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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