so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
two words: eviction party
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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