I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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