This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize