I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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