so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
