i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
