have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
