He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
