we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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