You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
