If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
