white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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