He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
