Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just found puke in my bra..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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