Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
