Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
