he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
