I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
