I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
