I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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