Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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