Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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