Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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