I bet he comes in French.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
