Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
please don't ironically join a cult
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