gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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