A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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