I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
