I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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