Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
