Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
