I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
