I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
