I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Panties = found
Randomize
