another moral hangover. fuck.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
