What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
