And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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