I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
